HOLY CRAP CANYON, BATSMAN ! ! !
BATSMAN: “How many times have I TOLD you Robinski, It’s BAT-MAN!! BAT-MAN NOT BATS-MAN DAMNIT!!”
ROBINSKI: “And how many times have I told YOU to stop referring to me as Robinski in public, you freak in a rubber suit!”
BATSMAN: “Who are you calling freak, you little toed little spandex stocking wearing twerp? If it weren’t for the fact that the network thought that I would look better standing next to a muscle-less, hormone-less, diminutive dweeb just like you, you wouldn’t even have a job! You can get down on your knees and kiss my shiny black rubber ass and thank me while you’re down there that you’re getting a paycheck!”
ROBINSKI: “Oh yeah? Well at least MY ass - and the rest of me while you’re at it - doesn’t smell like my FOOT all zipped up in that air tight rubber suit you jam yourself into every day for hours on end. I can smell you coming to the studio every morning from half a block away. Oh, and by the way, the drug store just called - again - they said your emergency case of Cruex has arrived. They want to know if you want it delivered to your house the same way they did it last week, or if you’re going to come pick it up yourself at the store the way you did day before yesterday. I told them it was a mistake and to send it back to the warehouse.”
BATSMAN: “I’ll kill you for that, you sadistic little bird-brained snot! You know how much I suffer for stardom - and without that Cruex my chest, ass, arms, legs, crotch and back look like I’ve got a terminal case of the chicken pox on steroids!! And I can’t even scratch myself inside this suit with these damned rubber gloves on! And don’t think I don’t know who substituted the contents of eight tubes of Cruex last week with Ben Gay and Crazy Glue either… and just two minutes before I had to zip up for the big fight scene with Mr. Freeze. I swear, Robinski, I’ll get you for that too - and right now you mamma’s boy in stockings!!”
(BOTH) BOFF! BINGO!! BANGO!! POW! BOINK! ZONK! TWANG!!! THUCK!!
NARRATOR: …DON’T GO AWAY BATSMAN LOVERS! DOES BATSMAN GET HIS HANDS ON ROBIN AND AVENGE HIMSELF OR WILL ROBIN LEAVE BATSMAN WITH TWO BIRDS IN THE BUSH? FIND OUT NEXT WEEK WHEN WE COME BACK WITH PART TWO OF “HOLY CRAP CANYON, BATS MAN!”… SAME BATS TIME, SAME BATS WEBSITE… NA NA, NA NA, NA NA, NA NA - BATS MAN!!!
